The Daily Eight: July 27, 2016
Jul 27, 2016
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1) The complicated question of why women put up with harassment at work. (Daily Worth)
2) The BP. Moveover is my favorite affordable work flat, but these Daya Adrian flats are the hipper, fashion-forward version.
3) The insanely expensive pre-show primping ritual of Bachelor contestants. (Refinery29)
4) Looking for the perfect LBD? This Ralph Lauren dress with an asymmetric neckline is perfection.
5) Multi-tasking is bad for productivity and work quality, and difficult to quit. (Fast Company)
6) This dusky pink skirt from ASOS is so chic. This crisp, white wrap blouse also caught my eye.
7) Should you invite a recovering alcoholic to a party where there will be drinking? (The Washington Post)
8) I scooped up this Deborah Lippmann ‘Very Berry’ nail polish set. Also, Burt’s Bees cuticle cream is a must-have for any at home manicurist.
*image found here.
I love advice columns like Carolyn Hax’s but her response was weird about alcohol. Her ultimate advice is right I think, but her language was strange. Many people in recovery avoid party environments like that. It’s not just like, because they might drink. It can be an awkward, no-fun scene in its own right. It seemed like the writer knew that, but she didn’t, so it was weird that Hax kinda made it all about, ‘the guest might drink, but that’s his problem.’
I think the point wasn’t so much that it’s up to the guest to decide to drink, more that it’s up to the guest to decide to come. I read that this morning, and my take was that the sister and bro-in-law would find out about the party anyways and be offended both that they weren’t invited and that the host thought she knew better than they did what the BIL could handle. This is like sending someone an invitation for a major event when they live thousands of miles away just so they feel included even if you know they can’t come. Don’t put any pressure on the sister to come, but let them know they’re welcome if they want to. This also avoids them being caught on the spot if someone asks if they’re coming to your party.
Yeah, absolutely invite the recovering alcoholic. I have some experience with this.
It’s deeply alienating to be treated differently, especially since it feels like such a private problem that everyone is now aware of. So let them make the call. Have a drink when you go to dinner with them. The point is treat them like your friend, because that’s what they are.
I think you’re right. I would invite them, and then be there to support them. Maybe serve a fun non-alcoholic drink. It’s a hard thing to quit, especially in industries where drinking is part of your job, but I think leaving ppl out doesn’t help.
This is exactly what my friend who is a recovering alcohol said. She doesn’t want to be treated any differently. It’s on her to manage her recovery, not on all of us to act as her mother. She did lose some friendships with the party people as they felt like they couldn’t relate to her anymore, but she continued to wanted to be invited so that she could make her own choice as to whether or not to attend.