With just a few days left in 2013, I think this quote is apropos. The ending of the year can bring regrets to the surface. But you can only move forward if you keep looking ahead.
***
1) This article, “Let’s Ban Weddings, and While We’re at It, Baby Showers,” has been making the rounds through my friend group. As the daughter of a divorce attorney, I’ve interacted with a lot of young women who got sucked in by the pull of a wedding and gave little thought to the marriage that followed. Is the solution having to be married for awhile before you can have the extravagant party?
2) This chilly weather has me thinking about sandy beaches, sunshine and this L*Space bikini. Heck, I’d settle for a pair of warm wool socks.
3) Think road construction in America is a hassle? Imagine having your road project shutdown because of elves. Yes, elves.
4) I would wear a trash bag on my head before I donned this rain bonnet. Sometimes, I think designers are locked in an epic competition to see who can sell the strangest item for the most outlandish sum.
5) Oh, how I wish I had purchased these star sparklers for New Year’s Eve. They’re just charming.
6) This leather-sleeved jacket with a navy wool bodice is perfection. Though, it’s under-$100 counterpart isn’t half-bad either. Plus-size ladies should check out this jacket from bebe.
7) There are many articles making the rounds on the Internet about the value (or lack thereof) of a college education. This article from Forbes is titled, “Is college a sucker bet?” I prefer this one, which discusses how grit, not IQ or education, will determine success.
8) This Fendi dress has one of my favorite color combinations: blush and black. Luckily, this Dorothy Perkins dress can give you a similar look for much less.
9) Kanye West compared his life as a rapper to the lives of soldiers and police because, in his mind, the stunts he performs on stage each night place him in the same kind of danger. So a sheriff in Ohio decided to set him straight.
Somehow, I doubt the lesson will penetrate through the layers of Gucci, Mercedes and Louis Vuitton. After all, the man once compared himself to Jesus.
10) Sephora has many of the kits they brought in for Christmas, along with other products, on sale for 20-percent-off. I love this Ole Henriksen head-to-toe skincare set, and this gorgeous Sephora eyeshadow palette in deep earth tones.
I look forward to your weekly reading post every Friday! This one does not disappoint at all. Hope you’re having a wonderful visit home!
Finally just read that Huffington Post article (I guess I have to wait until my top blogger endorses it to hop on the bandwagon). It’s interesting. Her tone is incredibly cynical, and I don’t necessarily agree with not giving teen moms showers, but I do see her point in that the focus needs to shift from celebratory to a more realistic tone about the future. However I might not be ready for kids yet, I know that for some people it’s the best thing that’s ever happened to them, expected or not. There isn’t one “right” way to do things, and that’s my main issue with this article. Having a lavish wedding that you CAN’T afford is one thing and I agree that if that’s your main focus (and not dealing with financial realities), you probably shouldn’t be getting married in the first place. But marriage SHOULD be celebrated, and weddings are a natural way to do that.
Agreed on the teen moms point. I also think it’s incredibly interesting that the author assumes NON-teen mothers all wanted to get pregnant. It’s kind of ironic.
Agreed that there is no single “right” way.
I was watching a show the other night that I caught in passing called Gypsy Sisters. Has anyone seen this? One of the main people was having a baby with a man who she was divorcing (?), she had no job (sans the show), was living with her sisters (because she wasn’t ready to raise the child on her own) and seemed totally unprepared for what was happening (not that anyone is ever truly prepared), and her sister looks at her and says, “now you have someone who will never leave you.”
This is a sentiment that I heard a lot growing up in a small, working class city. Teen moms or young moms locked in custody disputes would often tell the judge that they had the baby so they wouldn’t be alone. It’s so incredibly sad.
That was an interesting article. I kind of agree with her that lavish baby showers for teen moms endorses the idea some of them have that having a baby is like getting a live doll to dress up and play with. And the idea of waiting until you’ve been married awhile before you throw the huge party is intriguing. But I also highly doubt that the small size of the author’s wedding is the cause of her happy marriage. As long as the wedding remains what jt’s meant to be- a party to celebrate two people coming together and not a reason to get married in the first place- I see nothing wrong with weddings of any size
I agree that the size of her wedding probably has no correlation to her happiness. But I do think sometimes younger brides, or brides who aren’t ready for marriage, throw more lavish weddings. Whether this is evidence or purely anecdotal, I don’t know. But within my own life, the large more lavish weddings have all resulted in divorce within five years. Perhaps, in some cases, focusing on the wedding planning detracts from the need to focus on the coming marriage, but that’s just my experience, by no means true of everyone.
I do like the idea in the article about giving more girls help out as they start into school, etc. and celebrating that. In my close group of girlfriends there was a lot of this going on – I remember surprising a friend who had just gotten into nursing school with taking her out to dinner and a little set of gifts that would help her out there – nothing huge, but a few little things chosen by another of our friends who was already in nursing school. When I got into my own competitive program in college, I got a special dinner from my friends along with cards about how proud they were of me. Equivalent to my wedding? No. (Although I did have a smaller scale wedding.) Still made me feel good to know how happy they were for me? Of course.
As far as baby showers go, growing up middle class and having friends of the same, the baby shower gifts I’ve given haven’t so much been trying to stock mom up with the necessities (so maybe I’m a bad gifter) but rather giving something special – a special book or beautiful garment – to the little person I’m so excited to meet.
I don’t think getting rid of baby showers would really change teens’ romanticization of parenthood, and at least they give new parents a head start on necessities, which I’m guessing most teen moms can’t afford.
But can we please put a stop to gender reveal parties? That’s just too much.
Interesting article- while in general I agree with her point that things like graduations and jobs should have greater significance placed on them, weddings and baby showers are joyful parts of life and I believe they deserve to be celebrated. Who is to judge what baby showers deserve to be celebrated and which don’t? A teen mom has many challenges ahead- why punish her by treating ger pregnancy as “less special” than those in their 20s and 30s? If anything, she will need the support the most.
http://nyviewsnikeshoes.com
I’ve always been sort of perplexed by articles like the first one you linked. Because to me, the author’s sentiment has always seemed kind of “no shit” and I’ve never understood people who don’t get it. When I tell people I’m sure if I want to get married but that doesn’t mean I don’t want a lifetime committment with someone I get stares. And when I say that if I do get married, I don’t really want an engagement ring, I get bigger stares. There is more to life people! I’d rather have a house than a big ring and a big party.
People have a unique ability to focus on the wrong thing when making big life decisions. It keeps divorce attorneys in business.