10th Commandment: July 13

Jul 13, 2011

I am seeing VPL everywhere this week.  It’s like it’s taunting me.  On the lady in the elevator, on the Congresswoman on the tram, on the intern in the cafeteria…I cannot escape it.  So to those of you still wearing full seat underwear with a seamed edge, step into my (metaphorical) office.

Full seat underwear is the enemy.  Underwear with seams is the enemy.  If you are wearing cotton full bottom underwear, then you need an intervention.  And don’t believe Victoria’s Secret for one second, those underwear they sell that promise to eliminate VPL, don’t. 

1) Buy a thong. Hanky Pankys are actually comfortable.  If they weren’t, every retailer on the planet wouldn’t be copying their one-size-fits-most design, would they?

2) If a thong is beyond you–baby steps and all–try a lace boyshort.  Hanky Panky is my go to brand.  Full coverage.  Cute colors.  No panty line.  And, I bet your boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/hookup will like them a lot better than your Granny Panties too.

I need to beat back this scourge before my big mouth leads me to stop someone in the hallways of the Capitol for an in person intervention.  Your cooperation in this matter is deeply appreciated. 

Elected Official

Hanky Panky Lace Boyshort (Bare Necessities, $35)

If you are going to spend $35 on underwear–and I am recommending that you do–buy an intimates bag (or three) and wash them with Woolite on the delicates cycle.  These are an investment, treat them accordingly.  

Hill Intern

Honeydew Intimates Floral Lace Boyshort (Nordstrom, $14)

Unpaid Intern

Lace Boyshort (Forever 21, $4)

Look for Less

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  1. CVM says:

    A couple of things about thongs:

    1. I, personally, don't want anything that simulates a wedgy feeling, ever.

    2. I'd prefer to see a VPL on a passerby than to be able to see the cellulite on someone's rear through their pants/skirt/dress. That is a much more disturbing problem, in my book.

    I have tried some boyshorts that have been recommended on blogs like this, with results that varied from wedgy to VPL in a different location.

    Most of the clothes I wear don't lead to VPL b/c I like full skirts and pants with some substance. But, I'd prefer to have a VPL than something lingering between my cheeks.

  2. CVM says:

    A couple of things about thongs:

    1. I, personally, don't want anything that simulates a wedgy feeling, ever.

    2. I'd prefer to see a VPL on a passerby than to be able to see the cellulite on someone's rear through their pants/skirt/dress. That is a much more disturbing problem, in my book.

    I have tried some boyshorts that have been recommended on blogs like this, with results that varied from wedgy to VPL in a different location.

    Most of the clothes I wear don't lead to VPL b/c I like full skirts and pants with some substance. But, I'd prefer to have a VPL than something lingering between my cheeks.

  3. Stilleto says:

    FYI – Hanky Panky and Honeydew are sold at Nordstrom Rack in Pentagon City for cheap. I stock up on them there

  4. Meg says:

    Thank you for posting this! Is it rude if I discretely send this post to several offenders in my office??

  5. O says:

    I saw a girl with a VPL wearing a thong earlier this week. Her dress wasn't too tight, but it hung closely to her tail end. However, it looked even tackier than a VPL with the full-seated underwear. Poor thing had no idea.

  6. Chelsea says:

    Sooo necessary. And I second the Nordstrom Rack comment.

    Just as a caveat, keep in mind that Honeydew runs reallly small. If you have any curvature, you should go with Hanky Panky.

  7. Gloria says:

    lMAO. This is so true, unfortunate and avoidable.

  8. amysee says:

    Slightly OT, but can we talk about not just VPL, but plain old visible underwear? I realize it's hot as h*** in DC right now, but if your lightweight dress or skirt isn't lined, or your top is very thin, chances are people can see through it. Slips and camisoles are our friends.

  9. Belle says:

    agreed. I've been seeing a lot of bra straps and white underwear showing from under white pants. If you're wearing white pants, you must wear nude underwear.

  10. p says:

    It drives me crazy when women wont just wear a freaking slip with looser skirts and dresses. How hard is it?? Hanky-panky style lace thongs (I buy mine at Target) with a simple halfslip make the biggest difference in the world!
    Wow Belle, clearly I share your passion on this issue. Thank you for forging ahead in this crusade.

  11. Anon says:

    I do everything I can to avoid the VPL, but due to unfortunate medical issues, I can't wear non-cotton underpants. I wear thick slips and do everything I can to avoid a VPL, but I know that I'm guilty from time to time. Just know that we aren't all so fortunate.

  12. H. says:

    I much prefer cotton underwear to nylon — any suggestions of cotton alternatives?

  13. ADL says:

    I'm betting that Hanky Pankys will be on sale at Nordstrom's Anniversary Sale – which starts on Friday and runs for two weeks. I love both the HP thong and the lace boyshorts.

    @H. I think Hanky Panky sells cotton underwear as well as lace – check out their website.

  14. Victoria says:

    Also, the Signature Lace Boyshorts are actually $29 at the Hanky Panky website (and in way more colors). And free shipping for orders of $50 or more, with a $10 off if you sign up for their email list. Just thought I'd pipe in with an alternate for those who prefer online shopping!

  15. J. says:

    Here's a question: All of your suggestions are lace. Lace really isn't “healthy” for down-there if you know what I mean, and with as hot as it is, I'm sure there are many of us who can't wear lace options. So now what do you suggest?

  16. Belle says:

    I asked a GYN about that. As long as the underwear have a strong cotton lining to cover the more sensitive areas, you should be fine. The Hanky Panky pair have a generous amount of cotton lining.

    If your still concerned, Hanky makes a cotton hipster with lace just at the edges to prevent VPL. It's also low rise. https://www.hankypanky.com/Cotton-Hipster

  17. Chris says:

    I hate VPL too, but I have to part ways with you on thongs or boyshorts that only cover half your cheek. I cannot stand having a wedgie all day. And, if there's one thing worse than VPL, it's a woman trying to fix a wedgie in public. I have some great nylon, full-bottom panties from On Gossamer, available at freshpair.com and other places. For most outfits, you can't see them through the garment because they lie so flat. For more form-fitting outfits, I go with Spanx. Yes, even in the summer when it's hot. The Skinny Britches line is thinner than all their other stuff, and about as comfortable as any shapewear gets.

  18. Rachel says:

    For those of you who want no-show cotton and can wear a thong, I find that nothing beats Victoria's Secrets Lace Waist Cotton Thong. The thong is cotton, and can be found in solids and patterns that are not meant for twelve year-olds, and the waist is a very comfortable lace. I wear them all the time.

    https://www.victoriassecret.com/ss/Satellite?ProductID=1265530622836&c=Page&cid=1308310594228&pagename=vsdWrapper

  19. Charlotte says:

    I'm going to have to disagree with the thong suggestion if you are someone (like me) who spends most of your time in a suit or other lined pants. I've found that you can go MUCH longer between drycleaning visits if you avoid thongs…especially in the summer. Ick. I am personally partial to the Victoria's Secret Bare Ultimate Hiphuggers: https://www.victoriassecret.com/ss/Satellite?ProductID=1265530775186&c=Page&cid=1308307883975&pagename=vsdWrapper.

  20. Stephanie says:

    Bloomers in Old Town Alexandria has wonderful boyshorts that sit under the cheek with no VPL. Mary Green and Fleur't are the best. It's a totally adorable store too.

  21. s says:

    If you're wearing thongs to avoid panty lines, why not just not wear underwear? I kind of thought the point of underwear was to protect your clothes from bodily excretions. Thongs are not protecting your clothing, and if the wind blows the wrong way, they're not protecting your modesty – so really what's the point? Not to be prissy about it – but honestly, I don't get it. I could understand no underwear better than thong underwear. At least with no underwear you won't be courting the faux pas of needing to rearrange your underwear.

  22. Belle says:

    I've never had to rearrange my thong because I buy one that fits. Also, how is it not protecting my clothing?

    Seriously, non-thong wearers have the strangest ideas sometimes. I once had a college roommate who insisted that wearing a thong was unsanitary because it was closer fitting than full seat drawers. Weird.

  23. Plain Meet Simple says:

    Thongs are for whores.

  24. Cady says:

    Hanky Panky and other one size fits all options tend to run a little big on me. (I suffer from a fairly flat derrier.) 3 Sisters in Clarendon also provides an alternative to Hanky Panky in various colors and a size that works best for me: https://www.shopsisters3.com/info.html (it is also a less expensive option).

    I agree with Belle, I've never had to re-adjust. Try a thong. It's liberating.

    PS – Thongs are not inappropriate, salacioius or unclean in any way. When worn appropriately (ie. not showing out the top of your jeans or through you too-tight-dress) they are a woman's friend.

  25. ms. B says:

    plain meet simple – really?

  26. CVM says:

    A couple of things about thongs:

    1. I, personally, don't want anything that simulates a wedgy feeling, ever.

    2. I'd prefer to see a VPL on a passerby than to be able to see the cellulite on someone's rear through their pants/skirt/dress. That is a much more disturbing problem, in my book.

    I have tried some boyshorts that have been recommended on blogs like this, with results that varied from wedgy to VPL in a different location.

    Most of the clothes I wear don't lead to VPL b/c I like full skirts and pants with some substance. But, I'd prefer to have a VPL than something lingering between my cheeks.

  27. S says:

    People complaining about the wedgie obviously are not buying thongs that fit and in lace. Seriously, wearing a lace thong in the correct size feels just as comfortable as full-butt panties.

  28. Chris says:

    No, actually I've tried lace thongs as well as other fabrics, and they did fit, but they were not comfortable for me, and I didn't like having bare cheeks. Everybody likes different things, and that's why it's so great to have so many suggestions from readers about new items to try.

  29. Jennifer says:

    I have thongs in lace, cotton, and nylon, and I don't like any of them. I used to wear them, but they always get oddly stretched out, or bunch up, or just generally cause more hassle than they are worth. I keep a few pairs to wear with particularly clingy fabrics, but then my dress can get caught between my buttcheeks when I walk or sit down. I wish thongs were more comfortable or lasted longer, but they dont, so I stick to boyshorts and slips. VPL is gross, but just wear looser clothing in heavier or lined fabrics, changing your underwear is not the only possible answer.

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