Faux Pas: Somebody Get the Raid

Apr 14, 2011

From time to time, when I’m searching through the plethora of pieces on Polyvore, I find something that makes my mouth drop open.  Something so strange, ugly or unbelievable that it haunts my dreams for days afterward.  Something like this, for example.

You can stop squinting.  You’re not imagining it.  Those are bugs, Cicadas to be exact.  And if ModCloth is to be believed they’re Magic-Cicadas, though the retailer gives no explanation of what their magical powers are.  (Making your dates disappear, I suspect.)

Now, I’m not going to pretend that I know what would possess a person to design these, but I definitely don’t know why someone would pay $30 to wear them.  Especially since they make the wearer look like she’s about to have her ear eaten by one of the bugs from the Orkin commercial.

Yes, having your earlobes devoured by a giant insect is definitely chic.  If you lived in Egypt, 1,400 years ago.  But here in the 21st century, we spend millions exterminating creepy, crawly things, we don’t adorn ourselves with their life-size recreations.  

But by far and away, the best part about ModCloth’s entomological fashion statement is the description by their “fashion writer.”  Her poetic machinations described the Cicadas unceasing hum as “the season’s most beautiful song.”  The Cicada’s mating song even makes her “heart swoon,” though I don’t expect that she’s their type.

If you have the urge to purchase these entomological earrings, take that desire and bury it way, way down deep in your psyche.  Because expressing a need to own these is crazy talk.

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  1. crp says:

    Those earrings made me stomach turn! Yuck!

  2. C says:

    At first I didn't realize this was a Faux pas post and I couldn't believe Belle was promoting these. Phew. I am feeling an overwhelming sense of relief.

  3. b says:

    Completely agree Belle, horrible horrible earrings. Question though to follow it up… are there any animal inspired earrings that are fashionable? Or are they mostly faux pas?

  4. Katie says:

    Betsey J has some cute jewlery that is animal inspired, but these are just creepy.

  5. Liz says:

    At first, I thought they were roaches. Not something I want people to even remotely associate with my jewelry. Yuck!

  6. ~M says:

    Those earrings are disgusting, but I must share a story. Two years ago I was walking in Dupont late one night and I walked past Benneton and looked in their window. I thought that's a beautiful brooch, but somewhat oddly placed (on the upper arm of a sharp black jacket). After a minute or two, I realized it was an actual cicada that got in the store and on the mannequin. It was blue and green and gorgeous! So, in rare circumstances and if done perfectly, I think it could work, but you could never convince me that a cockroach isn't climbing up the model's ear.

  7. whattokeep says:

    I'm nonplussed. Cicadas sound like static on a radio turned up to full volume. What, exactly, is enchanting about that? Plus they leave their skin everywhere. How gross.

  8. Marie-Christine says:

    What you call cicadas in the US sound like a high-tension wire, very unpleasant. These cicadas are of the Mediterranean persuasion, and make the Riviera charming. Not the same species at all.
    I'd gladly wear one as a pin, but I agree the earrings are a bit much..

  9. LS says:

    Um Belle, are you sure you don't want a coordinating ring?
    https://www.zappos.com/fossil-natural-mystic-spring-cicada-ring-smoky-topaz-clear-crystal-brass

    Found that completely by accident when searching for rings under $50. Gross!

  10. Terri says:

    Can you say … eeewwwwww.

  11. Cindy J says:

    OK, in general I agree with the sentiments that no one should wear giant bugs on their ears, and I'm not a particular fan of cicadas. HOWEVER… I have a dear friend who's a huge fan of cicadas, to the point that when we were cleaning out her house for remodeling, I found a whole box of dead cicadas that she had saved to mount and frame. She recently did me a tremendous service and, as a gift, I searched all over and found her a cicada pendant necklace, which she adores. So I guess that's a long way of saying there's no accounting for tastes.

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